Yay! My mum is here and we are having a marathon art session. Last night we watched a video about Frida Kahlo and I learnt about the amazing visual autobiography she created with almost 200 self-portraits showing her constant battle with life. I particularly like her quote: "I didn't know I was a Surrealist until Andre Breton came to Mexico and told me so. I never painted dreams. What I painted was my reality."

Today we went to Leeds Met Art Gallery which I'd never been to before and this obviously stressed me out (in my normal not-being-happy-
that-I'd-found-something-good-but-feeling-bad-that-I'd-not-been-
there-before type of way) where there was an exhibition with video installations which provided me with inspiration for my project.

We also went to Leeds City Art Gallery where they've re-hung the collection, which unsettled me a bit because I liked the old layout and found it comforting.

Later we watched Tim Marlow talking about the highlights of the Tate Modern's re-hang. (Why is everyone re-hanging suddenly?) Mum and I both worship him and I've heard my Grandma does too!

Too many newspapers,
Too many bits of paper,
Too much stuff,
Too much mess,
Too much mess = too much stress,
Too much stress = I can't cope.

Ahhhhh,
Overwhelmed,
Put everything in a pile (the ever-expanding pile),
How do other people manage?
Am I the only one who gets drowned by papers?

Luckily my mum arrived today,
So she can help me sort it out (I hope),
At least, she's got a lot of experience in this area!

As I put a letter into a re-used envelope yesterday and sealed it up with copious amounts of sticky tape, it occurred to me that maybe I wasn't doing the greenest thing.

I think it's generally accepted (which means that I think it's a good idea) to recycle jiffy bags and A4 envelopes but what about little envelopes, where you might end up with just as much Sellotape as paper?

When I started writing this, I thought I should do some research into sticky tape, (Oh how much less-informed we'd be without the internet...) and guess what? It turns out that a roll of the original Sellotape is made from cellulose film which is biodegradable and so can be put on your compost bin. (Source: WWF's online shop so it must be true.) Most of the other stuff is acrylic and therefore BAD for the environment. Umm, which actually happens to be the type I currently have...

So this is all good news for Sellotape addicts. I have seriously been feeling bad about all the Sellotape (well sticky tape, which IS bad) and glue I've been using to make my contextual journal for college. (Do you think that maybe I make my life a bit harder than it needs to be..?)

But more good news, I've also found out that I haven't been wrecking the planet with the large amount of Pritt Stick I've been using as it turns out that Pritt products are made from palm oil and are non-toxic and biodegradable. Hurrah!

I guess a certain engineer who's not around today would say you should include the different chemicals and amounts of energy that are used to create the paper, sticky tape and Sellotape to get a proper answer.

So, the question is: Should I now throw my sticky tape away or would that be a waste considering the energy that's gone into making it?

Answers on a postcard please...

A 'me miracle' happened yesterday. I'd been into college and done some work on my film but whereas the other day I really enjoyed working on it, now the whole thing seemed rubbish; my great idea didn't even seem good anymore. I went downstairs to look at the evening courses' exhibition for some inspiration but ended up a bit grumpy as I started wishing I'd done some 'proper art' like drawing, painting or ceramics for my final project but to be honest I'm not skilled enough and don't have the confidence.

Then, as I was leaving I met someone from my course who told me that the painting she is doing for her final project is now one part of an installation with curtains and costumes and masks.

And guess what, I reacted to this news like a normal person! Well almost. This was the 'me miracle'; I didn't feel awful about it. I got a mini-sinking feeling because I felt that my film is completely useless compared to a mini-theatre but that feeling didn't resonate throughout my whole body and my whole life, leaving me a crumbled heap of failure. Hallelujah!

I was feeling a bit off-keel though, so I bought a book about woman artists to inspire me and happy me up. (And it did, FINALLY retail therapy worked for me. Oh, I forgot, I'm meant to be anti-consumer...Talk about bad timing.) Then I went to a nice cafe and wrote down some questions to include in my film to make it better. :)

Why do I do it? I've just eaten nearly a whole packet of chocolate peanuts for my breakfast. I feel sick, and my stomach's not happy.

It's all the sugar's fault (not mine, nothing's my fault...). I'm just sooooooo addicted that my lips tremble at the thought of chocolate or sweets or cake.

I read an article a few years ago about sugar addiction and how it can lead to fatigue, moodswings and depression. I had a eureka moment and realised that I was totally addicted to sugary things and thought, to my great sadness, that I should try and cut down. It's so difficult cutting back though as they are my one vice and totally happy me up.

I seem to go through cycles of being good and not eating much chocolate and then totally binging. When I'm tired, I eat sugary stuff which makes me more tired so I have more sugar to pick me up... The other day, I found the Nutella (I'd asked H to hide) and promptly ate the whole jar but most of the time we don't have any chocolate because I eat it as soon as we buy it!

Now I've eaten the chocolate peanuts, I want more sugar. I think this is why I found last week quite tiring. I got into this really scary cycle where I kept eating cake-mix because it was the easiest sugar-rich substance I could create, even though I knew that uncooked floor is probably the worst thing for my stomach.

I bought some magnesium tablets when I was going through a 'good' stage as they are meant to reduce your sugar cravings according to my bible 500 Of The Most Important Health Tips You'll Ever Need which also says that the foods you crave the most are probably doing you the most harm. But last week I couldn't even bear to think about the tablets, never mind take one. I saw them as the enemy and something that was taking away my 'fix', my enjoyment, my pleasure.

Scary. No Haribo for me today. :(

Noodle's mummy is back from her work trip and asked me to walk Noodle today. Yay! I don't know the latest on Noodle's long-term living arrangements yet but she's in Leeds now so I get important Noodle time :)

Don't worry, Noodle hasn't turned into a cat... I just realised that she is my only pic on this blog so I thought I'd post one of my lovely cats Mich and Beale. (Beale is the one doing the kissing). They live with my mum but that is through necessity rather than choice.

Time. On Sunday night I hated it. I suddenly got very frustrated as I sorted out my college work and found a list of all the things I was meant to do over the weekend... Why hadn't I done them? Where had the time gone? It wasn't like I'd done loads of things at the weekend or had been really tired. In fact, I'd been living my life at a nice steady "me pace". But that relaxed pace just isn't fast enough to fit everything in.

That's what I hated about London. When I stayed in all day like I did on Sunday, I always felt rubbish because I wasn't part of the whirlwind of activity that was going on around me. There's always so much going on that you can't even begin to keep up with it - plays, exhibitions, films (bars and clubs don't even enter my radar) - and the pressure to do things started to suffocate me. How do you (me) do it all? I couldn't. I was overwhelmed. Thank God, I left.

Now, there may be an exhibition at Leeds Art Gallery every couple of months that I want to go to and which I have a reasonable chance of getting to. Or even, the luxury of just going to look at the permanent collection and that's good. It makes me feel like I've achieved something.

I still get frustrated though. But there's a good way of looking at my frustration and it's really a very positive one. In the past, I hated time. Not because I couldn't fit everything in but because I didn't know how to fill the time. I couldn't fill it. Hours, days, weekends became huge voids that I didn't know how I would survive. They were painful and filling them required a lot of effort and tears. Sometimes days seemed to go on for weeks and when you'd made it through one day, you'd wake up and realise you had to go through it all again and again and again...

So, I'll try not to get cross that I don't have time to read a newspaper regularly, or that it takes me so long to write these blogs or that I can't remember when I last read a book, and remember that while time may not be on my side, it's no longer my enemy.

Well, I felt much better after sleeping all yesterday afternoon and today it even stopped raining for a few hours, (although not when I decided to leave the house, which seemed to be carefully timed to coincide with a monsoon) so things are definitely looking up.

I even made it to college where I hid in the computer room, partly to avoid the tutors but also to do some work as I've decided to make a film (better late than never) for my final project. In fact, I think I've worked myself out today which means I have no brain power left to write this blog and my favourite activity beckons...

Sleep, of course.

I haven't made it to college (again) and I've got this stupid annoying cough which I've had for the last couple of weeks and which is doing my head in. I thought about ringing the hospital but when I phoned up a week ago, the nurse didn't seem to care and made me feel like I was wasting her time.

That's one thing I really don't like about Seacroft; that they don't have a designated CF nurse who you can get to know and call or leave messages if you have any problems or need someone to complain to...Someone who sort of brings everything together. Instead you ring the ward, which is obviously really busy, and although you can speak to one of the CF liaison nurses (or whatever they're officially known as), it's not an ideal environment if you want to chat about anything.

While I'm on a roll, I might as well totally demolish them. They've gone for a NHS Charter Mark which is awarded for excellence and I hope they don't get it because they're already pretty arrogant and think they're the best CF hospital in the world, ever.

I used to use the psychologist for the CF nurse role but now she says I don't need to see her anymore as my problems aren't CF-related. The irony is that the CF team promote themselves as being really accessible and it's true that the consultant gives out his mobile number but there's no point in doing this and people having it if you don't feel you can ring it.

I had some stolen time this morning which was bliss. H was asleep and I was awake early (so much for sleeping-in this weekend) which obviously never happens.

I read some arty-type articles I'd saved from newspapers over the last few months, some from as long ago as October. Which isn't as bad as my Dad who read a sciencey article the other day from a newspaper he'd saved from 1996! They've probably developed a few new theories since then.

Anyway, I read a Freud-bashing article which annoyed me a bit as I'm a big fan of psycho-analysis and his iceberg theory. It's certainly helped me a lot. I also read about Patrick Caulfield (apparently under-rated) and another article about self-portraiture which got a bit intellectual for 9.30am on a Sunday morning or anytime for that matter. Also, there was a profile on Hockney which included this quote which I thought was very funny and a good example of the blurred line between normality and madness.

"I smoke for my mental health. So do most people. If I wasn't smoking, I'd be on anti-depressants. I prefer cigarettes."

The rain held off this evening for just long enough for us to have a barbecue on our drive (classy types that we are).

H's friends came over and we had a real feast with delicacies we'd bought from the market this afternoon. As ever, we'd got loads of bargains such as a humongous punnet of mushrooms (so big it can only just fit in a carrier bag) for one pound, (I think we'll be having mushroom soup for the rest of the week) and enough meat to feed five of us (including four blokes) for a fiver!!

Leeds market truly rocks and is a really enjoyable shopping experience unlike evil supermarkets, (check out Tescopoly.org to see how evil) which (seriously) cause me to have mini panic-attacks at the mere mention of them.

Anyway, I just dropped H and his friend into town to go clubbing and after already being blamed this week for the car having to have a new clutch really embarrassed myself my stalling and then when H told me re-start the car, I said: "Oh, isn't it running?" To which, H replied: "That'll be why your dashboard has lit up like a Christmas Tree!"

At least I got back in time to see the end of the Eurovision song contest. So congratulations crazy Finnish people/animals/things.

Had a lovely sleep this afternoon which was muchly needed as I've found this week quite tiring and long. I'm not really sure why but if I don't get a good 12 or so hours of sleep a couple of nights a week then I get pretty grouchy (just ask my long-suffering boyfriend).

The reason for my lack of sleep is that a wall is being built at the back of our house and the builders keep waking me up at the crack of dawn. Well, about 9.30am which is pretty much the middle of the night to me so I'm looking forward to a nice lie-in tomorrow.
z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z

We went on a school trip to Yorkshire Sculpture Park yesterday. I wasn't going to go because I'm so far behind with my major project but my friend persuaded me to and I'm really glad she did. It was so nice to get away from stressing about college work for a day and to be inspired by art, and to walk in the countryside. I always forget how much I love trees, grass, lakes and wildlife, as well as how much it totally relaxes me.

I'm all up for moving somewhere near Huddersfield now so we can get a little smallholding going with some chickens and goats. (Yes, really!) Actually what I'd really like is one of those eco-homes which are half-built into the ground and half-made from tyres. But I'm not sure what our eco-neighbours would say about the double garage H would insist on building next to it.

It's a miracle more people don't get food poisoning. I cleaned out our fridge the other day, which was pretty disgusting. Put it this way, I don't think I've ever cleaned out ANY fridge before. Slightly concerning.

Also at the weekend I made some sandwiches at this Oxfam thing (how good am I?) but it just really concerned me that anyone would allow me loose in a kitchen. Obviously I washed my hands but it's still worrying that people like me could be in charge of making food. I mean, even if I scrub my nails they are dirty again within 30 seconds.

Big, huge, massive effort required to go to college today. I woke up and felt exhausted like I felt earlier in the year. What comes first, stomach problems or tiredness? Does rubbish digestion make me tired or does not moving around much make my stomach poorly, or was it all the cake mix I ate on Friday that screwed my stomach up again?

Anyway today was pretty disastrous, I kept wandering around between the studio and the computer room and the library and couldn't settle. I spoke to a couple of tutors about my project: one gave me loads more artists to research and the other told me to do a photography project on how people use newspapers after they've read them, like make hats or boats out of them (?), which was nothing to do with my original idea. So neither particularly helpful.

Unfortunately I can't really articulate my idea because if I could then I would know what I was doing, but it's something along the lines of commenting on newspapers' role in our society - how with news they're portrayed as telling the truth and with features they present us with a required lifestyle and then I wanted to say something from my own experience about how journalists use people. When you write a story about someone, you're best friends with them, you want to know what's happened in their life and what's happening in their life but afterwards, once the stories written, you couldn't care less about that person. They've served their useful purpose and you're on to the next one. Or something like that...

Also, I still haven't finished my bloody essay that I was meant to do about a month ago. I printed it out today and it was pretty rubbish but I don't feel like working on it now. I'm feeling pretty sleepy and just want to curl up like a cat.

My college is being OFSTED inspected this week, so everyone on my course got sent letters telling us to be punctual (not our strong point) and to be the studio doing work, not sitting around chatting! Umm I hope none of the inspectors read this.

Anyway, I didn't want to force myself to get up because the nightmare of last week is still fresh in my mind and I know (keep having to remind myself of this) that I only felt so bad because I was so exhausted. I woke up at 9.30 which meant I'd be late and so I told my tutor I'd hopefully be in for the afternoon. Famous last words. I don't think I've ever gone in for the afternoon when I've said I will, it just doesn't happen. This time I fell asleep for about four hours, which was actually really nice. Obviously not very productive.

The good thing is I don't feel bad for sleeping in the day, like I sometimes do, because I did normal things at the weekend. I went to Saltaire and out in Hudderfield (I've decided it's not that bad) with H's friends, walked Noodle (she's still here - the decision has been postponed for another week. Fingers crossed) and then took her to a cafe where we had to sit outside in the freezing cold. It might not seem like that much but it was for me, especially compared to six months ago.

But I'll have to really try and go to college tomorrow because I've just realised that our major project is meant to marked next week. Eek, I haven't even started mine. Well I have done some research and experiments but that's about it. I'm sure they'll give me an extension...

What is going on with the weather? Is it normal for one day to be t-shirt-and-shorts-hot and the next to be freezing cold where thick socks and jumpers are required?

Today is World Fair Trade Day. (Thank God for all these themed days and weeks which make it soooo much easier for me to find interesting things to blog about.) So celebrate by buying something fair trade like Green and Black's chocolate which happens to be some of the most yummy chocolate there is. (Although not so ethical now it's been bought by Cadbury, but surely still better than normal Cadbury's chocolate. Ummm dilemmas of an ethical nature...I think Divine's the one you're meant to buy now.)

Or you could buy some People Tree clothes which are very cool (they've even got a concession in Topshop Oxford Street y'know) and are fair trade AND organic. Fact of a scary nature: Did you know that conventional cotton farming uses only 3% of total farmland but consumes 25% of the chemical pesticides and fertilisers used globally? Eek, until recently I thought that because cotton was natural it was 'good'.

I bought a postcard yesterday from my favourite shop in Leeds called Radish (it is, of course, a fair trade/community shop) which says: "I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once". I know it's not that original as there's a book with the title but I think it sums up my life perfectly and will make me smile next time I see it when too many days have ganged up and pounced on me.

Blog therapy is definitely the way forward. I can't believe how much better I felt after writing yesterday. T'was a miracle! I also think that sunshine helps too and, of course, some large doses of sleep.

This week is Composting Awareness week and to mark the occasion, the compost bin I'd ordered a couple of months ago finally turned up this morning. It was a bit of a disappointment actually as it's just this huge bit of cylindrical black plastic, but then it does the job so I don't know what I expected.

It's pretty much illegal for people with CF to compost because of the bugs that can live there but I'm slightly obsessed with it. I'm sure (hope) if you compost properly it's OK and, of course, I will use the correct mixes of organic waste (you need both nitrogen and carbon-rich materials to make happy compost) to create non-evil-bugged compost in my new bin... And contrary to popular opinion properly composting material doesn't smell bad.

Here are my top two tips on why you should compost.
1. Organic material forms about one third of our weekly rubbish. Without composting most of this goes to landfill where is stagnates and produces methane which is very BAD for the environment.
2. As well as reducing waste, compost increase the fertility of the soil so it's easier to grow yummy vegetables and pretty flowers. Yay!

Yesterday was an evil day. But trying to be the new more rational me, I kept telling myself that it was worse because I was so tired. I was hoping that some sleep would make today loads better but I only had about 13 hours, which might seem a lot, but if the bags under my eyes yesterday morning were anything to go by, then I needed at least 20.

So here am I awake, when my body still needs to be asleep. I'm in a sort of whiney depressed mood which isn't me really depressed, more frustrated and angry like a caged animal. (Obviously, I'm not sure what being a caged animal is like but I imagine it's something like I feel.) I sort of wonder around the house grumpily being frustrated and getting cross with everything and whining about things with a few tears here and there.

Anyway, yesterday I felt like I'd been cut in two. We had our presentation of our artists at college and I showed the film I'd made of my old art teacher (not that it was the easy option or anything...). I felt fine beforehand but absolutely awful afterwards. There was a slight problem with the sound at the beginning which I stressed about for about two hours after and then my tutor made a sarcastic comment about my camera technique which I obsessed about for another eight or so hours and which made me want to kill him. Obviously, a perfectly normal reaction.

As you might've realised, I can't cope with any slight criticism although I do have a less acute reaction when I'm not tired. I hope.

Also yesterday, Rob left for his homeland Australia forever. :( :( :(. Rob is my best (only) friend in Leeds and I am really really upset about him going. After having such a bad day, I was thinking that I should just go home to bed but I'm really glad I went to the airport to see him off. I think H was also glad even though he got me at my most mood-swingy and annoying for the journeys there and back.

Rob said I made him sound horrible in one of my early posts because I wrote how he said H and I eat too much and eat far too quickly! But I didn't think it was horrible or mean it horribly, I just thought it was funny and so very very true and Rob, you couldn't be horrible if you tried. Miss you already xx

***(sort of) NOODLE UPDATE***
I know Noodle is the main reason you're still reading my blog but the Noodle custody battle still hasn't taken place so I don't know who she'll be living with.

In the meantime here is a photo to keep all her fans happy.

I freaked out last night because I fell asleep on the sofa for a couple of hours with the radio blaring away, then I went to bed early and this morning slept through my phone alarm three times (or at least that's how many times I heard it going off) before finally waking up half an hour late. But at least I did wake up, I have slept through the whole alarm cycle many times before.

I am writing this at college while I am waiting for the movie I made of my old art teacher to burn to disc. It's causing me a bit of (waste) stress because I've gone through four dvds backing up my work which are useless now. Also I'm only copying now because the last copy I made doesn't play on PCs. Something I would've known if I'd asked the IT support people for help. Why do I never ask for help? I don't think it's a case of always thinking I know better (which obviously is sometimes the case) but also I feel bad about taking people's time.

Anyway, today is a good day because it's my Grandma's Birthday. Happy Birthday Grandma!

We had a big tidy-up yesterday as our house had become stupidly messy but today I have come home from college and promptly covered the floor with newspaper and artwork again. Luckily H is in Birmingham for a course so he won't be arriving home any minute and complaining.

The thing is, I really do hate mess but I sort of panicked when I got home that I needed to do some college work so got out all my pens and paints and paper. I've now recreated the playgroup experience in my sitting room but am too tired to pick it all up and a bit grumpy too because my work never looks as good on paper when compared with the images I have in my head...

But I'm not that bad (honestly), or rather I've found someone worse than me, after posting my last "Why am I so messy?" blog someone (who'll remain nameless) told me they'd hidden washing up in the oven before!

Today is an important day as Noodle's parents are meeting to discuss who will have custody of her. I'm keeping my finger's crossed as yesterday I realised how happy she makes me. I went round to Noodle's house and there she was, sat in the window like the old days. When she saw me, she jumped up all bonkers-dog-like all over me and licked my hands and then followed me around.

What about me in this Noodle custody battle? I need my Noodle therapy too.

I am actually being quite sensible for me and have started thinking about Noodle contingency plans. After learning about my friend Kat's pet snail Brian, I thought that maybe we could get some fish with snails for company to try and recreate the whole pond experience. And, then today, I got stupidly excited because someone on Freecycle is giving away some baby Giant African Land snails (they can grow to 25cm!) and I thought I'd found the answer to my pet problem.

But then we did some research and found that they are banned in the US and can cause loads of damage if they escape. Obviously, under normal circumstances they are unlikely to escape but the risk is considerably higher with me taking care of them. So I thought they wouldn't be the best pets. Also, they can't really look after themselves and need quite a bit of TLC. Actually, isn't that true for all pets? Maybe I'll get some fish (and water snails too, they must be easier to look after) in one of those self-cleaning tanks.

Do self-cleaning tanks actually exist or is that just a dream?

Normally I spend my whole time worrying about things that have happened in the past which may not be the most positive thing to do but at least it's not uncertain.

Whereas now, I'm worrying about future things like where we are going to live. H works in Huddersfield and doesn't like the commuting but I like Leeds and want to stay, especially now I'm probably going to do the second year of my course...Or maybe I shouldn't stay on if I'm feeling better because the main reason to do the second year is to get on a degree course and I don't want to do that...

But then what do I want to do? Ahh panic. Block out thoughts about the future and think about fluffy animals instead. Maybe I should go to the city farm for solace.

I was really nervous about going to my hospital appointment today because I've stopped most of my stomach medicines as I was so fed up with taking an ever-increasing cocktail of drugs that didn't seem to do anything.

Instead, I've been experimenting with taking linseed and eating fruit and drinking lots of water and gallons of prune juice and prune juice and sugar and warm prune juice (you get the idea) and anything else that's ever been linked to digestion. Unfortunately coffee and chocolate which work well for some people, don't work for me. :( ...Or maybe I just haven't eaten enough chocolate in one go?!

Nothing I've tried works brilliantly but I've started taking Cod Liver Oil and Lactolose in the evening which does help. My stomach still has a tendency to expand to balloon proportions every few days but at least I'm not in pain. More importantly I feel more in control. Before I felt like I was on a conveyor belt with more and more medicine being thrown at me that wasn't doing anything expect drowning me and being incredibly time consuming to take.

Anyway, after worrying about stopping my meds, no one at the hospital seemed bothered. (I mean, I didn't really get ANY reaction). The dietician didn't seem to care are just wanted to know if I was drinking lots of water and the doctor even said "Oh, good" when I told him I wasn't taking a long list of medicines I'd been prescribed.

I suppose the bottom line is, I feel better and seem happier and they can't really argue with that.

I found out today that Noodle's parents have split up and Noodle is going to live with her daddy. Noodle is the dog I walk. This means that I won't be able to walk her anymore. In fact, I might never see her again. :(

We had fun on our weekly walks with me trying to stop Noodle from eating delicacies like chewing gum (her favourite), tea bags and horse manure. (I'm still not sure why there is a horse tethered on the playing field.) Her other favourite games were trying to chase crows which was pretty funny as they really didn't seem bothered as she's only a bit bigger than them and me throwing sticks and then trying desperately to keep up as she ran after it.

I suppose I could join a dog walking agency but I want to walk Noodle (because she's lovely and sweet) and I'm not sure they'd allow me as I'm not really strict enough.

We can't have pets because we rent our house so I'll probably have to get some fish or something, which doesn't really compare. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

I think I've been spending too much time at college recently, or at least reading too many pretentious postmodern art books as I decided that my one sentence blog yesterday was "pushing the boundaries of blogging".

Then I thought that maybe I could just print out my blog (concerning for people like my mum who don't appreciate modern art) and hand it in as my final project as a piece of conceptual art. Actually maybe it should be concerning for me, as I might fail the course.

If you're not a fan of modern art and think anyone can do it and it's impossible to fail, you're wrong. Today we learnt about the YBA (Young British Artists) and how Gavin Turk's MA show at London's Royal College of Art consisted of one work, Cave, an English Heritage-style blue plaque in an empty room. The plaque read "Borough of Kensington, Gavin Turk, Sculptor, Worked Here 1989-1991". I like it but maybe he could have done some other work too, which of course, defeats the point... Anyway, he didn't receive his Masters, but then that hasn't stopped him.

Most of our group were pretty scornful of what we saw as Damien Hirst's and some of the other YBA's lack of traditional artistic ability. Then again, it did give us all hope.

Why do I always leave everything to the last minute?

I woke up this morning (actually it was half-past one!) after 15 hours sleep and felt completely awful. When I sleep that much and finally wake up, I feel like my whole body has been drugged and I'm usually pretty confused about what is real and what I dreamt as I have the strangest dreams. Also, I was cross because I was hoping that the not-sleeping-so-much me which appeared last week would continue.

But the good thing is that before I had a chance to grump about things, I had to quickly get ready and go out.

I said I'd help on an Oxfam stall at a fair in the local park. We were in a tent which was really cold and I looked like the Michelin man as I was wearing two fleeces with an XL Oxfam t-shirt over the top which fitted perfectly! Despite the cold, it was fun as we were getting people to draw their faces (I think my art tutors would've been a bit concerned if they'd seen mine) for the Million Faces Petition to demand tougher controls on the arms trade, (you can email your photo to www.controlarms.org), while listening to steel band music. :)