Why do I do it? I've just eaten nearly a whole packet of chocolate peanuts for my breakfast. I feel sick, and my stomach's not happy.

It's all the sugar's fault (not mine, nothing's my fault...). I'm just sooooooo addicted that my lips tremble at the thought of chocolate or sweets or cake.

I read an article a few years ago about sugar addiction and how it can lead to fatigue, moodswings and depression. I had a eureka moment and realised that I was totally addicted to sugary things and thought, to my great sadness, that I should try and cut down. It's so difficult cutting back though as they are my one vice and totally happy me up.

I seem to go through cycles of being good and not eating much chocolate and then totally binging. When I'm tired, I eat sugary stuff which makes me more tired so I have more sugar to pick me up... The other day, I found the Nutella (I'd asked H to hide) and promptly ate the whole jar but most of the time we don't have any chocolate because I eat it as soon as we buy it!

Now I've eaten the chocolate peanuts, I want more sugar. I think this is why I found last week quite tiring. I got into this really scary cycle where I kept eating cake-mix because it was the easiest sugar-rich substance I could create, even though I knew that uncooked floor is probably the worst thing for my stomach.

I bought some magnesium tablets when I was going through a 'good' stage as they are meant to reduce your sugar cravings according to my bible 500 Of The Most Important Health Tips You'll Ever Need which also says that the foods you crave the most are probably doing you the most harm. But last week I couldn't even bear to think about the tablets, never mind take one. I saw them as the enemy and something that was taking away my 'fix', my enjoyment, my pleasure.

Scary. No Haribo for me today. :(