Just when I was appeasing myself by saying I was going to plant some trees to offset my emissions, there was a story on the news last night about how it doesn't really help and you should just try and create as little carbon dioxide as possible in the first place. Humpf, spoil sports. OK, I know it's obvious really but why is being environmentally-friendly so difficult?

Well, the day is ticking away and I am sort of packed and just hoping they'll let me on the plane with my insulin pen. At Gatwick once, (oh dear, I seem to be exposing my un-green credentials again) after thoroughly investigating my nebuliser the security people went though my bag and took my insulin pen away to a special desk for additional checking. Why? What did they expect to find in there, apart from insulin, of course?!

We're actually staying on the island of Gozo, next door to Malta, which I like the sound of very much. H thought I was making it up because it does sound like a Sesame Street character. (Sadly, he isn't coming because he's got to do this strange thing which I've vaguely heard people talking about called work.) Also, I've found out that my Grandad was posted in Malta during the war so it would've been good to ask him about it but unfortunately he's not around anymore. I don't think he had much fun there so I'm hoping we'll have a better time.

So, so long lovely people. I leave you with the good news that Angel had a trip home in the week :) and is doing funny walks up and down the ward in training for the Hydro Active Challenge which takes place next Sunday. This is the event that she has been doing muchly impressive fund-raising for. Over £6,500 so far. Gulp. Hurrah!

There was a great article in The Independent yesterday about someone travelling to Australia the green way. Barbara Haddrill doesn't want to fly because it's so environmentally damaging, so she is making it her mission to travel from the UK to Brisbane by coach, train and boat. Luckily she's got a few free weeks to make the trip. Rob, you can come back to the UK now. What are you waiting for?

The article (which you need to read quickly because you have to pay after three days) arose from her blog which she'd only started earlier this month. This obviously totally impressed and excited me. Now all I need to do is think of something wildly exciting to blog about and hey presto, I could be in the paper too. I seem to be a bit too keen to be in a newspaper which is obviously totally sad and desperate and therefore definitely not going to happen.

Barbara also puts me to shame because while I am only about the greenness of someone feeling a bit sick with my recycling-addition, water-saving measures and trying-to-be-ethical shopping, she is Miss Green of Greenland (as someone would say ;)). When she's not trying to travel around the world without destroying it, she lives in a little caravan in a forest in the middle of Wales which doesn't have any electricity.

Maybe now would be a good time to admit that I'm flying to Malta for a week's holiday tomorrow. OK, I know I'm meant to be against planes and flying and airports and I did think long and hard about my environmental beliefs before deciding to go but I just feel that a holiday would do me good. Let's hope it does as I'm getting fed-up with the grumpy me.

I won't be moving into any electricity-free dwellings in the near future but I will be offsetting my carbon emissions by paying for some trees to be planted.

What's the point in my life at the moment? It's filled with meaningless tasks which I do just so I feel like I've done something. One day I cycle to the cafe or go to the local shops. And the next?...I do the same. Wow! How exciting.

Today I went to Prescription Art but when I got there I found it wasn't on. :( It was annoying because I really needed to go and express my grumpiness on a piece of paper with some nice bright felt-tip pens. I thought about going home and having an art therapy session of my own but then I got waylaid by the idea of buying a guitar I'd seen in the charity shop yesterday. This is the excitement of my life.

I don't feel like the day's wasted though as I was cycling around to all these places, so at least I got out of the house and got some good exercise.

And the guitar? It was still there but when I picked it up I realised it was a boy's one and so was quite teeny tiny. The lady in the shop did the sales pitch thing by telling me it would still sound the same but I wasn't convinced. Also, how would I tune a guitar being an un-musical type?

I was half listening to the radio and half doing something on the internet earlier today when I heard that the next guest was going to be an ambulance man who's just had his book published. My ears pricked up and I started to pay close attention. You might think that it doesn't sound too interesting but the interesting thing is that he's a blogger and more importantly that his book came from his blog.

Bloggers having their books published is great news for me - someone who's spent the last fifteen or so years saying they're going to write a book but never actually managed to even write a page - because I think, "It could happen to me, I could be the next blogger with a book deal. Hurrah!". Until, that is, I learn that prior to getting the book deal around 30,000 people were reading ambulance man Tom Reynolds' blog each day. I'm not sure if I should be giving him any extra readers though as he's got more than is fair share already.

This brought me back down to earth. Where am I going to find 30,990 more readers from? I've told everybody I know about my blog.

Maybe that's the problem, maybe because everyone I know reads it, I'm not being cutting-edge or controversial enough or expressing my feelings in their rawity. (I don't think that's a word but I like it and think it should be.) I guess another problem is it's lack of single issueness. I'm not blogging about a specific topic - about my job or a campaign or the news or the environment - it's more a mish mash of things that are going on in my head at any one time. Ummm, I'll have to think about this.

Of course, probably a far simpler way to get a book published would be to actually write one. Obviously being a self-obsessed type it's got to be about me and my life so it should be quite easy. I did try and start it a few weeks ago when I was racing with H and had some time to spare (I wasn't bored, honestly). I decided to start it when I was 16 as that seemed to be about the age when my head started to get messed up but as I started to write, I just got more and more depressed as I had to think about things that I didn't want to think about. Well whoever said writing a book would be easy? As they say, no pain, no gain. But does that include the pain of my family and friends who'll be forced to read it, if I surprise everyone (most of all myself) and actually write something?

Oh dear, my bad cooking seems to be contagious - I just cooked the worst carbonara in the whole wide world. Normally I cook quite a mean carbonara but today everything went wrong: it was too dry and scrambled eggy and even the bacon didn't taste good. All I can say is, "Sorry, H". At least we've got some nice wine to wash away the taste.

On other matters, I'd just like to say: "Ahhhhhhh. OMG. I'm freaking out."

I'm freaking out 'cos I don't know where the summer's gone. I'm not taking about the lack of yellow thing in the sky although that's another good question, I'm talking about my two months off. Suddenly we're nearing the end of August and September is almost upon us.

OK, maybe I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here but August seems to be going speedy quick. The problem here is that tidying up last week, I came across my summer project brief which I have to do before the start of term. (If I decide to go back to college, that is, but then again the job offers haven't exactly been flooding in.)

Anyway, I haven't even read the summer brief properly never mind started it. Hence the ahhhh panic nature of this blog. If I was writing for a magazine they'd be some silly 'Ed' comment saying: "Err well, why don't you get on with it then?" Which would be a good point if a bit trite.

Some days I don't post because I'm too busy but other days, like yesterday, I'm so un-busy that if I were to blog it would be out of character with the unproductive nature of the whole day. Just thought I'd explain.

Today I've been more productive and carried out my first Random Act of Kindness (RAoK). Hurrah! I purchased some chocolate muffins in Greggs which I gave to the friendly lady and her colleagues in the charity shop up the road. The cakes weren't the same class as the ones from Betty's last week but still a good deed, I think.

As I had cakes on the brain, I remembered I was meant to be baking H a belated birthday cake. I've just baked some chocolate fairy cakes and they came out of the oven not too burnt or under-cooked, so all looked like it was going well. Until, I put the icing on that is. Why can I bake cakes but always mess it up with too-runny icing? Surely the baking should be the more difficult bit and the mixing of icing sugar and water should be easy peasy?

Oh dear, I've just realised, I'm probably in trouble again for not giving enough Angel updates. One of the problems I have is that so much happens in an Angel week that it's difficult for me to keep up. This is obviously in direct contrast to my week which has been filled with playing Lego and writing frivolous blogs.

Firstly, last Saturday Angel escaped, not just from HDU but from the hospital to go to her friend's wedding. Muchly hurrah's for that I say!

But this week more excitement was to occur. On Tuesday evening, Angel got a call to say there were a pair of lungs available for her. Obviously by the lack of starred **BREAKING NEWS** headlines and whoops of joy and excitement, the transplant didn't go ahead. :( Firstly, Angel's temperature was too high (I can't even begin to comprehend how awful that must've been) but then there was a problem with one of the lungs. This meant that the reserve recipient who also has cf and who Angel knows (How weird must that have been?) didn't get them either so they went to someone awaiting a single lung transplant.

After the emotional rollercoaster that Angel must have been on during that time she still managed to take time to think about the donor family and wrote on her blog: "Yesterday a family lost a loved one, and at a time of great tragedy decided to donate their organs. Compared to anything I am feeling these are the people who should be in our thoughts right now, and they have given me renewed hope that my chance will come." What a true Angel.

Speaking of Lego, guess what I did yesterday? Umm, maybe I shouldn't be admitting this to the world being of supposedly adult age. Oh well.

Anyway, I went to my dad's yesterday and the good thing about having a dad that keeps everything... is that everything is still there. All the things I had when I was little are still available to play with, should my mood dicatate... So seeing as I was thinking about the greatness of that wonderful plastic brick and little people creation that is Lego and more importantly that we were in the garage sorting things out. For those of you who don't know, rooting around and tidying my dad's garage is a very exciting once every twenty year opportunity so I made sure I made the most of it.

It wasn't difficult to find the old Mothercare nappy box that is jammed full of the stuff and then I spread it all out over the steps at the back of the house and set about creating my own little Lego house. Maybe I should stop now before you start to realise how sad and immature I am but I'll just say that it was a great three-storey house with a garden, cool conservatory/extension thing, balcony, different height roofs and a chimney. Oh dear, I've probably said to much.

I'm doing a lot of sleeping in the afternoon at the moment, which is OK because I'm technically on holiday and therefore it's allowed. Yesterday I curled up and rested on my Grandparent's sofa and then my mum went out and I felt like I was all little again. I'd love to be little again. I've spend a lot of my life wishing I was nine or ten and could play with Lego all day long. I mean, how cool would that be? Obviously it's not very positive or constructive to be 28 and spend your whole time wishing you were still a child, which is probably why I have so many problems. Ho hum.

Anyway one of the reasons I'm tired in the day is because my cats keeping waking me up at night. I think they are the only cats in the entire world who have un-learnt how to use a cat flap. Now they stand by the door waiting for someone to let them in or out, having cunningly forgotten that there is a cat door less than a metre away.

But cleverly, when I come home Beal(e) (dogsy, you can spell it with or without an e) knows that I can let her in through my bedroom window which opens out onto the roof. Beal does this really cute pawing thing where she stands on her back legs like a meercat and paws the window with her front paws to alert me to the fact that she's there. This wakes me up and I let her in, which is cute at first but not after the fifth time when she seems to have remembered how to use the cat flap to go out of the house but not to come back in.

It normally takes Mich a bit longer to cotton onto the fact that I'm back but when he does, he does his baby crying meow which sounds more like sheep's bleat and I let him in too. After a few times of doing this, I just leave the window open, weather permitting, so really I should be happy that it's the summer as otherwise I'd be a million times more tired than I currently am.

One good thing about this computer is that the keyboard has really deep keys which means I don't make as many mistakes as usual. So maybe the amount of time it takes to load a page is cancelled out by the amount of typos I normally make? (Is there a competition for the slowest computer in the whole wide world that I can enter this computer in?)

Other things about this hotel however are not so good. This morning I was given stale Shreddies for my breakfast! However, a shopping mission has been undertaken and tomorrow I should have Alpen which would be a great improvement. Also, this morning I found a dead mouse with its head bitten off just outside the back door but I don't think that was my mum's fault and I'm not even sure it was our cats' fault as they don't do that kind of thing, being well-brought up.

Hello! Am posting from down South where I am having to put up with a ridiculously slow computer... again. I decided that the coldness of Leeds was far too much for an August weekend - after all it is meant to be the height of summer. I was being my usual stubborn self and wasn't going to do an H and wear a fleece or my winter jacket on a summer day, but I should've as I was shivering in Harrogate on Saturday.

But the day wasn't all bad. In the morning we went to a kit car show in H's car and I think it was the first time I didn't have my eyes closed, my fingers in my ears and didn't scream my head off when he was zooming along. Normally it feels like I'm on a rollercoaster and can't believe I'm still in one piece when we get home.

After the show, we went to Harrogate with the sole aim of going to the famous Betty's tea shop. As there was a long queue out of the door we just bought a few cakes (well ten pounds for five!) and sat on a bench and ate a couple like greedy pigs.

Then, seeing as I'm really into charity shops at the moment, we went to the Oxfam shop next door. I went upstairs to look at the books and then H came up with the cake box (which he was carrying flat so the expensive cakes wouldn't get crushed) and the Oxfam lady said: "Oh he's bought the cakes!" Then H who is currently reading 'Join Me' a book by Danny Wallace (which incidently, I bought him from a charity shop), said that one of the things it encourages people to do, is Random Acts of Kindness (RAoKs) such as giving old ladies cakes. So, I told him, "Go on then." (Mind you, I'm not sure if I would have been so generous - seeing how much I love cakes, especially as she could've taken my chocolate mousse mouse, luckily she didn't. She picked H's tarte au citron.)

This is what H wrote on the www.join-me.co.uk website (which is his new favourite thing. Sorry can't do a proper link as I'd be here all night if I try and open more than one page.):

Taking inspiration from the idea of biscuits making people happy, today I offered an Oxfam volunteer one of the rather nice cakes I'd just bought from the posh cake shop next door. I had to assure her that she really could have one, and that I didn't mind that she wanted the biggest one (which happened to be my favourite)!

It felt great and qualifies for my first genuinely Random AoK, I think I'll make a habit of it!

Yay! Well done to H and for RAoKs!

I'm struggling with the time thing again; I never seem to have any time to do things, even though I don't actually do anything. Maybe that's the problem.

Oh well, moan over with. As part of my mammoth sorting mission, I've found some good causes to tell you about.

1. Please sign an important petition for Jews and their non-Jewish friends and supporters who are outraged by Israel's attacks on Gaza and Lebanon, as well as by US support for those attacks.

Jewish Voice for Peace will present the petition to Condoleezza Rice, George Bush and Ehud Olmert, the Israeli Prime Minister.

It goes without saying that we all deeply mourn the loss of Lebanese, Gazan and Israeli lives. But instead of negotiating and helping to reduce the violence, Israel's wildly disproportionate response has inflamed the situation. Massive bombing of neighborhoods, roads and even cars with people in them is not just illegal and immoral-it feeds the forces of extremism.

Please join me! Let's show the world the thousands of Jews and allies who seek an end to the settlements and occupation, and a just and fair peace in the Middle East.

Sign the petition at: www.jewishvoiceforpeace.org

2. Call on the government to rethink its aviation policy. The government's 2003 Aviation White Paper announced a massive programme of airport expansion.
These plans threaten to:
- make targets to tackle climate change unachievable
- damage our wildlife and countryside
- inflict noise and traffic misery on communities all over Britain

The government is reviewing progress on its aviation policy this year, but only a fundamental policy rethink will do. AirportWatch has launched "Rethink!" - a campaign for a sensible aviation policy.

Please help to persuade Ministers to rethink by clicking here.

3. You can also thank Paraguay for protecting the Upper Parana Atlantic Forest, home to jaguars, harpy eagles and other threatened species, and to urge the government to extend its Zero Deforestation Law, which is due to expire soon.

The Upper Parana Atlantic Forest in Paraguay is one of the world's most ecologically important regions, containing plant and animal species that are found nowhere else on earth.

To sign an online petition to the government of Paraguay, go to the Conservation Action Network website.

Thanks and remember, you can make a difference. :)

Seeing as I’m sort of looking for a job, I bought the Evening Post today (from a man in the street, of course, which I think is the most ethical place to buy it). It proudly states on its front page as well as plastering the fact all over its advertising boards that it has 580 jobs inside. What I’d like to know is where do they get this number from? Do they just pluck it out of thin air? There’s a tiny 16 page supplement with maybe a couple of hundred jobs in it, at a push. But in my paper-round days, the papers would be triple size on jobs’ day; so much bigger that they’d hardly fit in my bag and I‘d struggle to keep my balance (I was on my bike) when I first set off. Maybe it’s ‘cos everyone’s on holiday that there aren’t any jobs but then again, I don’t know why I’m surprised as there never are. I guess it’s just hope that keeps us all buying and looking…

Well, well, well. I've had a few complaints about my blog recently which I suppose is a good thing as people are actually reading it. Firstly, as I've said, I've been in trouble for the lack of Angel updates (The latest is that she was sitting up in HDU yesterday chatting and smiling after telling the docs what's what!), I've also been criticised for showing the pic of my mum (sort of) running. And last but not least, I've been told that there have been too many -y words recently. In my usual mature way of dealing with criticism, I'll just say, I'll think-y about-y it-y.

Oh no, I woke up this afternoon (!) after a lovely long sleep following the hecticness of the past few days to hear that Emily-Tinypoppet-Angel is back in HDU. :(

Hopefully the surgeon-y types are doing good sticking back lung things as I write this and Angel will be out of HDU asap but obviously it will involve some pretty painful tube-y and sticking type procedures.

Emily's Live Life Then Give Life partner in crime Emma posted this on their myspace site yesterday: "If the lung is going to continually collapse it obviously puts all hopes of going home out of sight as it would simply be too dangerous for her to leave the hospital.

"The basic situation is that Emily needs that double lung transplant and quickly.

"In situations like this it is so hard to sit and watch and wait and feel there is nothing any of us can do to help Emily's chances. But we can. If each of us just mentions to one person tomorrow about organ donation or passes on the number for the Organ Donor Register (0845 6060 400) or the link to our Life Live Then Give Life website, then we have each done one small thing to help Emily get that call."

I know I'm probably preaching to the converted here but I think it's a very good postive-action-type thing to do. So please, wear your donor t-shirts with pride and tell someone about the campaign today. No one likes to think about their mortality but what better way to look at it than that your death could help someone else to live?

Long time no post and you nearly had to wait another day (could you have coped?) for this update as H has got all tough with me and is forcing me to tidy up. He says it causes him stress every morning as to get to his wardrobe, he has to navigate his way over my bits of paper, newspaper cuttings and general me rubbish. Oops (embarrassed me face). What has added to his annoyance is that each time he tells me to tidy up I just scoop everything up and put it in a pile next to my bed...until the next time I want something from it or add something to it and it gets spread out all over the floor, again.

Now apparently, I've got to tidy up properly and this is causing me much stress (helped by a few gallons of Rescue Remedy) and I have managed to sort it out a bit. But not before H threw my beloved Simba out of the window and then told me that if I didn't put the newspapers out to be recycled there wouldn't be enough recycled paper in the world and they'd have to cut down more trees! This has obviously spurred me on.

And now for an apology. I got in trouble yesterday with my most avid readers for the lack of a Tinypoppet update. The last one being that she had sent her mum out for some shampoo which seems like a few millennia ago. I'm sorry, I didn't realise I hadn't updated but in my defence I have linked to her blog a few times and again here (so you don't have to relay on my rubbish updates). The good news is that Tinypoppet-Angelcake might be reading this but the bad news is that my update will probably be totally wrong (obviously being a semi-journalist) and out-of-date.

More good news is that Angel left the constraints of the Brompton hospital on Saturday night to live it up in South Kensington with her family but the bad, bad news is that yesterday morning she had another pnemothorax (that's a record breaking four in just over two weeks) and so has been put on suction and is back being tied to the bed. :( Which, erm, can't exactly be much fun to say the least. So get well soon and keep fighting Angelcake sweetie.

Last but not least, to me! Well, I survived the stomach-turning journey across the middle of Wales and more importantly so did H. I think he was a bit perplexed as being a racing-driver-y (that's the way The Independent do 'y' words so it must be OK) type loves driving fast on windy roads but had to drive very slowly as I was feeling quite ill. What made this torture worse for him was that it was his birthday!

Anyway, we made it to New Quay in Wales after what seemed like forever and I was soon in eager dolphin-spotting mode as I could see the sea from our hotel window and the hotel owner had told me the cute grey animals that go by the name of dolphin can be seen in the bay. Obviously I couldn't see any and in my usual quick-to-put-a-negative-spin-on-everything way said to H when we were waiting to go out in the boat the next morning. "I bet we won't see any dolphins." Ah, ever the optimist, me.

But to my sheer delight after just ten minutes the captain-y person spotted a dolphin at '11 o'clock' and we stopped to watch it jumping in and out of the water. It was quite far away (I'm not very good with distances) but you could obviously tell it was a dolphin (the fin gave it away) although we couldn't see its cute dolphin-y face. Then we sailed along the coast a bit more and saw some seals. :) Again, we weren't that close (which is obviously a good thing as we didn't want to disturb them). First we saw one on a rock on its own (the grumpy me one) which was all curled up and looked more like a giant slug. Then, on the rock behind there were about seven and looking through binoculars you could see one of them lying on its back, all blubber-y and seal-like, looking at us which was really good.

Then we saw another dolphin and then a group of four - two babies and two mummies playing and jumping around together. Ahhhhhh. YAY marine animals rock!

Hello readers, just a quickie to say that I'm going to Wales dolphin watching this weekend so won't be posting for a few days. Well, I hope I'm going to see some dolphins as being wild animals the people who take you on the boat trips can't guarantee it. I guess it's a sad indictment of our modern age that they have to say this otherwise people might sue. Anyway, here's hoping I get to watch some cute grey animals swimming and jumping about in the water. Byeeeeeeeeeeee

What a horrible, rainy old day. At least the ground's getting some much needed rain and I don't have to water my tomatoes which I'm a bit rubbish at doing...but exciting news, I have just noticed my first orange one!

I realised last night that I'm totally addicted to the internet. OK I had realised before but last night was the proof that the addiction had got waaaaay out of hand. All H and I seem to do all evening is pass the laptop between us but last night, shock, horror, we decided to watch a film. This meant that for two hours we concentrated on something that didn't come into our house via the broadband connection. And, you know what? It was lovely.

Pretty much the first thing I do when I wake up and the last thing I do before I go to bed is surf the net and I check it (blogs, cf forum, emails, maybe houses or jobs depending on how I feel) a few hundred times in between. I've just started to log onto msn (instant messaging for any non-msn types) but I don't really like it because it causes me to stress out that no one else is ever on it...because they actually have a life.

So, I've decided that I need to ration my internet access. I'm going cold turkey on msn and to manipulate and hijack a classic phrase from my youth: I'm going to turn off the computer and go and do something else instead.

Ooh, but first I'm going to urge Tony Blair to call for an immediate ceasefire in the Middle East and you can too by clicking here.

Here's the link to the comment piece I wrote for Disability Now about new IVF technology that can screen out certain genetic diseases such as cf. A few erroneous words seem to have crept in, but that's editing for you and that's why I like my blog because no one changes what I put and I get to write all the random words and non-grammatical sentences I like! Mind you, I'm not sure about the grammar of 'former reporter of Disability Now'. Also, I was in the most ridiculously good mood when I wrote it, which seems a world away from how I'm feeling now. So savour the positiveness of a me as it doesn't happen too often.