I was meant to go to an Oxfam meeting tonight. I didn't. I was using it as a sort of me test. I failed.

I've got another test tomorrow - to go to college and enrol (apparently that's the word, not register).

I'm scared I won't go, scared I'll stay at home and morph into the sofa. I've lost the letter telling me what time to go, it's not a good start.

It's just that I don't have great memories from last year - it was quite a struggle and I'm not sure I can do it again. Last year, I started the course after everyone else as I was a reserve and then I missed a week at the beginning of term in hospital and so was even more behind. I was suffering from my mystery fatigue thing for pretty much the whole year which made everything a million times more difficult than it needed to be and then of course, there was the very stressful exhibition to conclude. Oh, what larks!

On the positive side, there might be some new people to make friends with as I felt like an outsider last year and didn't think that many people liked me. It probably didn't help that I was hardly ever there...