Wednesday wasn't a great day, but compared with yesterday it was amazing. Yesterday I had no energy or motivation to do anything...so I went back to bed and slept for the whole afternoon. I don't know if I was really that tired but it seemed like a good thing to do. I woke up a few times and saw that it was a lovely sunny day outside and wanted to go out, but I just couldn't move. It was if my body had turned to concrete and I couldn't lift my legs or arms. All I could do was just close my eyes and go back to sleep. It wasn't until an ambulance with its siren blaring shocked me awake that I regained consciousness and was able to get up. And not too soon either, as H was about to come home. Whoops!

Last night I did manage to go out to some comedy which was good fun and proof that I just need to have more things to occupy my mind and less time to think about things. It was also in a student pub which was more good therapy for me. Even this time last year seeing lots of students drinking together and having fun would stress me out because my student years weren't like that: my friends would go out and I'd just stay in on my own watching tv. But hurrah, I'm starting to be able to cope with students again. It probably is time too as I started uni TEN years ago. Can you believe that? Umm not sure what I've done in those intervening years.

Today hasn't started too well either. I've been rubbish this morning and starting munching my way through a packet of sugar. But this is last bad, negative and self-destructive behaviour that I'll partake in today. I'm going to draw a line under this grumpiness and try and be more positive. I'll go and get dressed now and do grown-up functioning activities like other people do. Especially mummies like Katie, who are superhuman, and who I'd like to wish a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY!