I'm back. Well for now anyway and just wanted to say I'm doing OK. I've been going through a bit of a blip over the last few days and today I thought I was totally losing it but I'm pleased to say that I managed to pull myself through (I hope) by writing a list of all the things I've achieved recently. While most of these are work-related (that's the extent my life right now), I've also cycled to work a few times which while getting there is a nice downhill ride, it's the getting back that's the problem.

So really, in the grand scheme of things a few days of feeling rubbish is nothing compared to how bad things could have been. I'm surviving in my job - well, I still have it at least and even coped with a live interview on Radio Leeds about British foreign policy. How I managed to sleep the night before I'll never know.

Of course, there are bad things: I don't have a house/home (I can only stay where I'm living at the moment for another few weeks), I don't have a boyfriend (I've lost one of my best friends) and I don't have many friends in Leeds or a social life...

But there are good things too: I'm in London to spend a long weekend here for my sister's birthday and to see some friends and do some cultural-type things. It's lovely being somewhere where I can totally relax (read spread out and make a mess!). I've even brought my swimming costume as there's a pool just over the road so I've got no excuse and I might also do some shopping as I'm trying to be nice to myself. And I've just started seeing this really good cognitive behavioural therapist (which is one of the reasons why I'm writing this positive list). I've taken lots of things to the charity shop as part of my being ruthless/cathartic/having no space in my tiny room including not-so-flattering clothes, cassette tapes (yep, I still have them) and unwanted jewellery.

So while things aren't so great, I've just got to keep reminding myself that it could have been sooooooooooo much worse. If I'd split up with H when I wasn't working, I would have found it a squillion million times tougher: I wouldn't have had anything to escape too or anything to give me confidence or worth.

In fact, if I'm not writing my blog I'm probably doing OK and if I am, well you'll know what's going on in my head. Thanks for reading. xx