Did you notice that I spell-checked my last entry? Guess you would've realised given that I finally learnt how to spell kangaroo. Bit rubbish really as it is my favourite thing about Oz.

Wasn't sure whether to write this blog but I seem to be so here it is... Hope that hasn't freaked anyone out too much. There's nothing to freak out about really, it's just that my chest is being a bit rubbish so am having a chilled day in Adelaide YHA. Which if your chest is going to be annoying and you want a relaxed day is a pretty good place to hang out. There's a lovely view of the park, nice computers, comfy sofas and newspapers (well one which some old guy has hogged although he keeps walking off and making food and drinks and seems completely unable to multi-task. I guess he is a guy after all). Anyway as I couldn't read the paper I started reading a magazine which looked pretty average from the front cover but had a really cool interview with a Paralympic athlete called Katrina Webb which really resonated with how I'm thinking at the moment.

She says: "The more I learned about leaders and successful people the more I realised that the best people were those who really knew themselves; they accepted who they were. They are people who say, 'this is me, this is what I have got...stuff happens in life, but it's not what happens to me, it's what I do about it that's important'. It's about realising, 'it's my ability to respond because that is what I have control over, and that is what is going to make the difference."

And: "Unfortunately, some people who have had a setback no matter whether it is physically or emotionally, also make a harsh judgement on themselves. My message is not about telling people about my medals, but being proud of the fact I was able to find myself to give me the inner strength to get the best out of my life."

While I'm in a (positive) introspective mood, I want to say a big thank you to Angel. I just checked out her blog and as well as taking part in the Hydroactive challenge for the second year running (muchly well done there), had just been to the funeral of her friend Robyn. Angel writes "I know I couldn't save Robyn all on my own". Maybe not but she'd done a hell of a lot for saving other people, including myself.

This is what I wrote the other day on the train:

Angel taught me that not only can you have cf and have a great life but also and importantly that whatever cf does to you, you don't have to hate it. Accept it and learn to live with it and don't waste valuable energy battling with yourself. However I used to try and rationalise my irrational thoughts, there is no me without cf. I don't hate cf, I don't hate myself anymore and I don't think, why me?

The other day Rob came into my room and joked about all my medicines spread out and covering the floor (obviously) and Jono (Rob's brother) said I'd already had the piss taken out of me for having so many medicines. And I said, "I'm proud of my medicines." They thought I was joking but I wasn't. I was proud of my meds (probably for the first time). Proud of them for keeping me well and keeping me alive because I want to keep well and keep alive. I'm proud of my meds because they're me and, I think, I'm proud of being me.