Hi everyone, I'm in Wanaka at the moment. I've pretty much completed my trip of the south island but am getting really stressed about days and the time i have left. I've sort of planned what i want to do but it's like i have no control over my feelings - i just work myself up into such a panic about things and then stress that i should have done other things - guess i haven't changed at all really.

When i first came to nz i said i had no desire to sight see and while i have done quite a bit of sightseeing and have had some good times, nothing in Nz comes anywhere close to what i had on Kangaroo island- the peace and stillness and happiness. I guess it just goes to show that it's true what the Buddhists say that true happiness comes from within.

The weirdest thing about this is that I'd say i actually like nz better as a country, although now I've got so used to all the beautiful scenery that i don't really appreciate it anymore.

What i also think is really important is working. I never realised before how important it is to do different jobs and the sense of accomplishment and achievement you get from doing different work and the confidence it gives you - i think I've missed that here.

Stray was good because it got me to Abel Tasman and i met some nice people but I've missed some of the people i met on Stewart Island and at Lake Tekapo. It's weird how you just click with some people and others, even though they are perfectly nice and you get on with them ok, just don't have so much fun or feel so comfortable in their company.

Hanging out with people my own age, or 20-30 bracket, has always been my biggest fear. That's why when i first came to nz i stayed at YHAs after Stewart Island i started staying in backpackers and preferred them and also starting talking to more people my age. Stray was all young people and i still find chatting to people my own age most difficult. I've realised that to be good in a group you have to be a good storyteller and I've not very good at that but while i sometimes didn't feel 100 per cent confident in the group, it didn't make me feel half as bad as it would have in the past. I guess I'm accepting myself more - definitely cf , I've never felt as comfortable with it as i do now and also how i interact with other people and am more accepting if i don't get on with some -realising that maybe we're just different, rather than that they hate me, as i used to think!